Hello & Welcome,
This series talks about ‘Using Mindfulness For Action’
‘Using Mindfulness For Action’ means bringing your whole self to the present- with complete awareness. Engaging with the flow of life, like a dance- constantly aware of your expressions, your movements, your next move, and the message you want to convey through the dance.
Mindfulness for Action is about learning to respond to challenges and difficult feelings with GREATER AWARENESS. Many know mindfulness as a relaxation tool, but it also creates a state of action for us.
How?
A state of inaction is when we are filled with fear, doubt, or self-doubt. Mindfulness could help us recognize these feelings and work through them, rather than getting stuck and paralyzed by inaction. Mindfulness could also help us notice opportunities and consider ways to make them work, rather than just being in an auto-pilot mode, where we are completely unaware of where or why are we heading in life.
Once you are aware of what is creating the inaction, here are 4 ‘A’ ways of using mindfulness to get back into action.
Mindfulness for Action is about learning to respond to challenges and difficult feelings with GREATER AWARENESS. Many know mindfulness as a relaxation tool, but it also creates a state of action for us.
How?A state of inaction is when we are filled with fear, doubt, or self-doubt. Mindfulness could help us recognize these feelings and work through them, rather than getting stuck and paralyzed by inaction. Mindfulness could also help us notice opportunities and consider ways to make them work, rather than just being in an auto-pilot mode, where we are completely unaware of where or why are we heading in life.
Once you are aware of what is creating the inaction, here are 4 ‘A’ ways of using mindfulness to get back into action.
AVOID
· Say “No” – Be authentic about your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added (more than you can handle) or dumped responsibilities. Know when you are being foolish. Say ‘No’ to yourself for that late-night movie, party with friends, or weekend-long drive even if it’s been your ‘ritual’ for years if it is causing you to regret the next day.
Avoid People Who Have an Unhealthy Impact on You – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
Take Control of Your Environment – If the ‘Corona’ news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic irritates you, take a longer but less-traveled route. If the silence is killing you, play some music that you like.
Differentiate Between ‘Should Do’s’ and ‘Must Do’s’ – If you’ve got too much on your plate to do, analyse your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. Identify the “should” and the “musts.” Move tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
Avoid People Who Have an Unhealthy Impact on You – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
Take Control of Your Environment – If the ‘Corona’ news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic irritates you, take a longer but less-traveled route. If the silence is killing you, play some music that you like.
Differentiate Between ‘Should Do’s’ and ‘Must Do’s’ – If you’ve got too much on your plate to do, analyse your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. Identify the “should” and the “musts.” Move tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
Avoid Hot-Button Topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
Not all situations can be avoided. There are other “mindful” ways of handling them.
ALTER
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Express your Feelings Instead of Bottling them Up – If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same. Do it using the ‘I’. Eg – “I feel anxious when too many deadlines are overlapping. Can we relook at the workflow and do something about this?”
Be Willing to Compromise – When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to come halfway, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
Be Authentic and Assertive – Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head-on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you have projects to submit and a friend comes in chat say upfront that you only have five minutes to talk.
Manage Your Time Better - Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you are mindful -plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself; you can alter the amount of stress you put yourself through. Lesser stress leads to productive actions!
Express your Feelings Instead of Bottling them Up – If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same. Do it using the ‘I’. Eg – “I feel anxious when too many deadlines are overlapping. Can we relook at the workflow and do something about this?”
Be Willing to Compromise – When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to come halfway, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
Be Authentic and Assertive – Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head-on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you have projects to submit and a friend comes in chat say upfront that you only have five minutes to talk.
Manage Your Time Better - Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you are mindful -plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself; you can alter the amount of stress you put yourself through. Lesser stress leads to productive actions!
ADAPT
If you can’t AVOID or ALTER then ADAPT yourself and regain your sense of control. It’s about being Mindful about your expectations and your attitude.
Reframe - Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than cursing the traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station/ audiobooks, or enjoy some alone time. In the current Corona times, the future may look ambiguous to you, but look at what you can do with your present- spend time with family, connect with long-lost friends, enroll for some online courses, pursue your hobbies, etc.
Look at the Big Picture – Take a Mindful perspective of the situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
Adjust your Standards – Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable unhealthy feelings. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough”, if it meets the requirement.
Focus on the Positive – Be Mindful of your gloomy, self-sabotaging thoughts. Take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. The happy vacation times, your beautiful children, caring friends, and elders who constantly bless us and wish good for us. Being Mindful about them especially during our ‘Low’ days, not only brings things in perspective but also acts as a reminder to the simple joys of life
Eg – Death of a loved one, a serious illness or Corona, and the recession. In such cases, be Mindful and ACCEPT. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than fighting a situation you can’t change. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. At times, even people’s behavior or reactions are not in our control. But being Mindful about our choice of ‘response’ is in our control.
Look for the Upside – As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to it, reflect on them, and learn from your mistakes.
ACCEPT
Some sources of inactions are sometimes unavoidable. ACCEPTing this does not mean ‘Defeat’. It’s About Letting Go!
Eg – Death of a loved one, a serious illness or Corona, and the recession. In such cases, be Mindful and ACCEPT. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than fighting a situation you can’t change. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. At times, even people’s behavior or reactions are not in our control. But being Mindful about our choice of ‘response’ is in our control.
Look for the Upside – As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to it, reflect on them, and learn from your mistakes.
Share your Feelings – Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
Learn to Forgive – Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentment. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on. This may take a lot of practise (refer -Look At the Big Picture) and just Let It Go!
Practice Positive Self-Talk – How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the middle of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Be Mindful about your self-talk. Instead of saying I am never able to take decisions say I like to think through before taking a decision OR instead of saying I am a shy person and can’t make friends easily say I like to know people before I trust them and consider them as my friends.
Learn to Forgive – Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentment. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on. This may take a lot of practise (refer -Look At the Big Picture) and just Let It Go!
Practice Positive Self-Talk – How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the middle of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Be Mindful about your self-talk. Instead of saying I am never able to take decisions say I like to think through before taking a decision OR instead of saying I am a shy person and can’t make friends easily say I like to know people before I trust them and consider them as my friends.
Eliminate words like ‘never’, ‘can’t’ and replace them with action words. Knowing yourself and knowing what you want as an outcome is essential. The more we are mindful of our actions, the less pain and suffering we encounter.
We all have a choice – to be guided towards actions by fear, guilt, anger OR replace it with assertiveness, authenticity, positivity. Mindfulness may help us stay true to what is truly within us.
